Relationship

Here I am,
Confuse between 2 people,
I love both of them.
But I have to choose 1,
Its a long way to go but things get out of my hands,
I hate myself,
For being emotionally attached,
To love,
To lust.
I feel like i want to die,
the same way i felt when he breaks up with me.
I'm such a bitch,
so greedy and so silly,
and now i have to deal with the problem
that i caused.
One things lead to the other.
Its too late to go back.
Can i just let both of them go?
He was so innocent,
always have faith in me.
And he just couldn't let go,
remind me of the love that i crave.
But who shall i choose?
I love him longer.
But i want to keep him.
In the end,
everyone hurt..
including me.
Can i just die?
To run away from this nightmare.
Because i'm too afraid to  face the consequences.
I'm too weak to continue the fight.